The Ocean Between Us (Benton Creek Series Book 1) Read online

  “Hend, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I meant every word I said earlier. I love you so much. But we can’t…there just can’t be an ‘us’ right now,” he says, placing his forehead against mine.

  “Que,” I whisper. “I hate you.” I brush my lips against his. I melt into his embrace, his mouth covering mine. Finally he breaks away from the kiss.

  “See what you do to me?” He presses himself against me and brushes my hair out of my face. “Can we go someplace and talk?”

  “No, I have somewhere I need to be. I’m sorry, but I think it would be best if we said our goodbye right now.” My voice is shaky. I can’t cave…I will not cave.

  “Please,” he begs. “I just want to have one last day with you.” He pulls me even closer to him. “Hendlee, please. I need you.”

  Yep…I’m caving. Those words alone make me fall apart. This is a breakdown I didn’t intend on him seeing. Flinging my arms around his neck, I squeeze him tight, letting all the emotion I’ve held in since my parents died escape through my sobs.

  “Que, please be my first. Be with me just for tonight. I promise it won’t change anything.” Although I know that it will, and will only make me desire him more.

  “Come ride with me. I’ll bring you back to pick your car up later.”

  “Okay,” I sniffle through my tears. We walk to his truck; he opens the door and hoists me up onto the seat, pulls my seatbelt around me, and buckles me in.

  “You’re so beautiful, mascara marks and all.” He winks. I pull down the sun visor and see my tear-stained face.

  We ride in silence. Though I don’t question where we’re going, I have an idea. Once we turn down the dirt road, my heart sinks, my palms are sweaty, and my pulse is racing out of my chest. Looking through the window, I see the spot. Our spot. This is where I come when I want to think. This is where we would come when we wanted to get away. Looking over at Que, I smile and squeeze his hand.

  “This has always been our spot, right?” he asks.

  “Yes. I love coming here.” I sigh. “When exactly do you leave?” I finally ask.

  “Tomorrow. I’ll be flying out from Lexington.” He puts the truck in park. “Hend, you don’t have to sleep with me. I just want to hold you, be close to you. Show you that I do care.” I can see the tenderness in his eyes.

  Shaking my head, I unfasten my seatbelt. “Please, let me have this. Just tonight.” I climb across the seat and straddle his lap. Pulling my shirt over my head, I toss it in the seat next to us. I place my hands on his chest. “Touch me, Que,” I plead. I need him more than I need my own air.

  Chapter Five

  Tonight’s Going To Be Worth It

  Quaid

  This girl is going to fucking break me tonight. I’m sitting in my truck in front of my granddad’s old ranch house making out with Hendlee. We’ve sat here in this spot many nights, and I’ve dreamt of doing this with her. Tonight, everything that would feel right, feels so fucking wrong. The way her hips are rocking against me has me hard and ready.

  “Hend, maybe we should slow down. I don’t want you to do something you aren’t ready to do,” I say against her lips.

  “No talking.” She unfastens her bra, and the most perfect pair of tits pops out. I’ve never seen any as perfect as hers. Licking my lips, my mouth darts to one peaked nipple and my fingers rub circles over the other one.

  “Yes…” she moans.

  “No. Your first time isn’t going to be in the front seat of my Dodge,” I say, setting her next to me. “Put your shirt back on.”

  After turning the truck off, I climb out. I have to adjust my dick; it’s ready to pop my zipper. I don’t think it’s ever been this fucking hard.

  Rushing to her side of the truck, I help her down. The house is empty. My grandparents have both passed, but my parents keep the house the way they left it. My dad was an only child; once they died everything went to him. He’s told me time and time again that I can have the house if I stay in Kentucky. The thought has crossed my mind, since I love this house.

  Hendlee’s face lights up and she leans into my embrace.

  “Thank you for this,” is all she says as we reach the porch.

  Lifting her up bridal style, I carry her into the house. Walking her into the room where I know there is a king size bed, I kick the door open with my foot and then slam it back. I find her mouth with mine. She moans and I gently lay her on the bed and kick my boots off. She scoots up the bed and removes her shirt; she didn’t put her bra back on. Unzipping my pants, I push them down. When my dick springs from my boxers, Hendlee’s eyes bulge.

  I let out a growl.

  Yes, this is going to be fun.

  “Lay back baby, I’m going to take my time with you and show you what you’ve been missing.”

  I pull her sneakers off. In one yank I have her yoga pants down and she is lying here in her yellow lace panties.

  I groan. “Fucking perfect.”

  While I slide the yellow lace down her thighs, she squeezes her eyes tighter. I pull off my boxers and spread her legs open. I position myself between them, placing my mouth over her center, then slide my tongue between her folds. Once my tongue glides over her clit, she whimpers and her hands dart to my head. She twirls her fingers around my long locks. I dip a finger in her pussy to feel how ready she is.

  “You’re so ready for me, baby,” I murmur against her sex.

  “Quaid,” she moans, her body writhing under my touch.

  I place myself at her entrance. “Open your eyes, sweetheart.” She does as I say, and the lust in her green eyes has me coming undone. “Tell me if it hurts, yeah?”

  “Yeah,” she whimpers. “Please, I need you.”

  As I enter her, I feel something I’ve never felt with any other girl…love. Placing my mouth on hers, I kiss her. I move in and out of her, each push her hips meeting mine. We develop a good rhythm. I’m so close, and her moans are sending me over the edge.

  “You feel so good, sweetheart,” I say against her neck.

  “This is amazing,” she says breathlessly.

  I lose myself in the one and only girl I’ll ever love. Sadly, I know we can’t be together. She wants to stay here, and I want a life outside of Benton Creek. Rolling over next to her, I pull her close to me. She rests her head on my chest, running circles over the scar above my right nipple.

  “Will you stay here with me tonight?” I ask. I know that she doesn’t like to leave her grandmother alone, but I want to spend my last night here in this bed with her.

  “Sure, I need to call Maw and let her know where I am.” She rises up on her elbow, looking into my eyes. “I can’t lie to her. I’ll let her know that I’m here with you.”

  “That’s fine. I’ll let my parents know I’m here. Dad had a pretty good idea I would spend my last night here.”

  “How long will you be gone?”

  I clear my throat and think about what I want to say before I speak the words I know she isn’t ready to hear. “Not sure. Months…years. Boot camp is nine weeks long.”

  I don’t want to come back here. I’ll come back for her, but I will not live here. Though my parents have given me a wonderful life, Benton Creek isn’t in my future.

  Hendlee swallows back a sob. “I’m going to miss you so much, Quaid.”

  “Me too. You know, you can follow me. Once I get settled and I’m stationed,” I offer, knowing she will decline.

  “I can’t leave my Maw. Other than you, she’s all I have.” She wipes her hand over her eyes then kisses my lips. “I’ll always love you, please never forget that.”

  “I know you will.” I don’t offer any more. She knows that she’ll always have my heart.

  ***

  Today has turned into a huge cluster-fuck. For starters, I woke up late. Hend and I spent the night making love, and after the third time she finally cried herself to sleep in my arms. I lay there and listened to her cry. After I finally closed my eyes, my phone started goi
ng off. It was my buddy Clive. He and I have been best buds forever. He wanted to ride to the airport with my folks and me. After dropping Hendlee off, I’m finally on my way home to get ready. My mom has been crying for a week. While I know my parents want me to stay here, the Navy is my future.

  Rushing into the house, I see my parents and Clive all sitting in the kitchen. I grin and run up the steps, shower quickly, and look around my room. This is the last time I’ll see it, for a while at least. Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I head down the steps. My mom is leaning against the counter sipping coffee. I walk over and kiss her cheek. She guffaws through her tears and pats my face.

  “We’re so proud of you, son.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” I look at my dad and Clive. “You all ready for the drive?”

  “As ready as we can be,” Dad says.

  The drive is at least two hours. I snatch a piece of sausage and hear the front door open. We all look at each other, confused to who it is. Then I see Hendlee bounce around the corner.

  “Is it okay if I tag along to the airport?” she asks nervously, biting at her nail.

  I walk over and embrace her. “Of course it is.” Placing my mouth on her ear only where she can hear me, I say, “I miss you already.”

  “I know we said our goodbyes, but I needed to watch you leave.”

  “We’d better get going.” Dad motions toward the front door.

  “Can we all ride together?” Hend asks when we approach my dad’s Escalade.

  “Sure. No way you’re driving to Lexington by yourself.”

  “I know. I’m nervous just driving around here.” She laughs nervously. “No way am I getting on the freeway.”

  I climb in the very back and pull Hend in with me. “We can sit back here. Clive, you can have the middle seats all to yourself.”

  “Thanks, man. Y’all better behave back there,” he jokes. “It’s going to be weird, without you around here.”

  “I second that,” Hendlee states.

  “Y’all are going to be just fine without me.”

  Deep down I know they won’t, but I can’t stay. I don’t want to. This is something I need to do for myself.

  “If you say so.” Hendlee leans into me and I place my arm around her. When I kiss the top of her head, she looks up and beams. My lips lightly graze hers.

  “Love you,” she whispers so only I can hear her.

  “Always.” I kiss her again. “Always.” Resting my head on hers, I glance out the window and watch the trees lining the road pass by. All the images of Benton Creek become just that…images.

  Chapter Six

  He Will Be Back

  Hendlee

  All the air has left my lungs. I can’t breathe. We’re at the airport and I am hiding out in the restroom. My mind goes back to last night, when we made love. He did things to me, and made me feel things I didn’t even know were possible. I thought giving myself a pep talk would help. Boy was I wrong. Que’s flight leaves in ten minutes and I’m freaking out. I have so many emotions going through my mind. I want to beg him to stay. I want to shackle him to me and never let him go; I want to tell him I’ll move to Florida or wherever it is he wants to go, as long as we’re together. I splash some water on my face and make my way back out to the lobby. Clive and Quaid are talking, and once they see me, they stop. I’m sure he’s told him about our night together.

  “Now boarding for flight two-five-seven to Chicago, Illinois,” a lady says over the speaker.

  Quaid walks toward me and I shake my head. My tears that I wanted to stay in escape like waterworks and before I realize it I’m in his arms, my legs wrapped around his waist. I squeeze him like there’s no tomorrow.

  “Sweetheart, I have to go,” he says into my hair.

  “Please stay. I’ll move to Florida. I’ll move to California or anywhere as long as I’m with you,” I cry into his neck. “Please don’t leave me. I love you, Quaid. You’re my everything.”

  “Baby, you’re killing me. I have to go. I’ll come back for you. I promise.”

  Hiccupping through my tears, I say, “Okay. Please call as soon as you can.” He kisses me a few more times and sets me down, walks over to his parents and hugs them, then Clive.

  “Clive, look after her,” he says, pointing at me. Then he takes his fist and places it to his heart and my sobs escape me full force. Clive hugs me and walks me toward the exit door.

  Once we all get in the car, I finally calm myself enough to text Gemma.

  Me: He just left. I’m a mess. Gem, I miss him already. How am I going to make it months without him?

  Gemma: Is Clive with you? You’ll get through this, he will be back. I wish you two would have done this months ago, instead of waiting until the last minute. He loves you and he will be back for you.

  Me: Yes, I know. I was so stupid. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. I’ll need you. Please don’t leave me too.

  Gemma: Never. You’re stuck with me.

  Me: Good, I’ll call you when I get home. Love you.

  Gemma: Sounds good, I love you more.

  Clive is sitting close to me and holds me while I cry. We stop off and have lunch at one of the steakhouses on the way back. I have no appetite, I just want to curl up in a fetal position and cry until I can’t cry anymore. I order a salad and try to eat, managing to pick through it and eat the cheese and croutons. Mr. and Mrs. Castings and Clive all tell stories about Quaid, and say how much they miss him already. I grin and nod, trying to engage, but my mind keeps going back to last night. Him making love to me, claiming me, making me a woman. He made me feel things I didn’t even know I could feel. The love that we shared, I can never share with anyone else, even if I tried and wanted to. I will never be whole, unless it’s with him.

  ***

  It’s been an entire week since Que left. I miss him so much. I’ve never gone this long without seeing him, except when he and his parents went on vacation, but that was only a few days at a time. He’s going to be gone for months this time. Anything could happen to him. Oh god, think positive Hendlee…I pull into the parking lot of the bakery and cry for a few minutes, before I exit the car. I get out with my head down the entire time, walking to the door.

  I walk into a large person. “I’m so sorry,” I mumble, not even looking up to see who it is.

  “Don’t worry. I was coming by to check on you,” Clive says.

  “I’m okay, just tired.” I haven’t been sleeping and I feel like shit.

  “How about you go out with me tonight? A movie or bowling?” He grins and pokes me in the side. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

  “Maybe. Can Gemma come?”

  “You bet. I think Bryan would like that,” he jokes, but I know that’s true. Bryan has drooled over Gemma since middle school when her breasts started developing. But I also know that Clive wants her for himself.

  “Please tell me you’re going to feed me when you get this door unlocked,” Clive says with a laugh, rubbing circles over his stomach. “I’m craving your bagels.”

  “Let me get everything together and I’ll make you some bagels.” Walking into the bakery, I flip on the lights and get everything going with Clive on my heels waiting for his food.

  After I turn the ovens on, I make him a chocolate chip bagel with vanilla cream cheese. I set the plate in front of him and you would think he’d just won the lottery. I busy myself getting everything else going. Maw will be here soon and I normally like to have everything ready before she arrives.

  “Hendlee, that was the best bagel ever,” Clive says, rubbing his stomach. “No one can make them as good as you do.”

  “Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say.” I walk back into the kitchen and then I hear Gemma’s big mouth.

  I kind of sort of eavesdrop a little. Okay, a lot.

  “She’s been so moody. I don’t think she’s heard from him,” I hear Gemma tell Clive.

  “He called me once, checking on her,” Clive says. “He’s re
ally busy though.”

  “You know I have two perfectly good ears. I can hear every word you two are trying to whisper. Memo: you suck at it.” I turn on the radio.

  “Hey! Don’t be bitchy to us.” Gemma rolls her eyes. “Someone clearly needs to get those pipes cleaned.”

  “Bitch,” I mumble.

  “Okay ladies, see you tonight?” Clive chimes in.

  “Yep, if I don’t choke her before then.” I throw a pack of napkins at Gemma’s head.

  “Tonight? What are we doing?” Gemma asks, leaning over the counter.

  “I’m taking you ladies out, and bringing Bryan also.” He places his hat back on his head. “See you later, ladies.”

  He walks out and Gemma says, “So Bryan will be there?”

  “That’s what he said, isn’t it?” I sound a little irritated, because I am. I miss Que, and hanging out with all of them is just going to make it worse. He’s supposed to be here too. Instead, he’s on a ship somewhere across the country.

  ***

  I have to admit getting out and going to the movies and dinner with the gang a few weeks ago felt like old times. We ran into Alison, and of course she had to ask about Quaid. I still haven’t heard from him. It’s been four weeks…four long weeks. He’d said he would be in boot camp for about nine weeks. I would love to hear his voice, see his smile, and most of all feel his touch. Admitting my feelings for him was hard. He surely made up for initially rejecting me the night he made love to me. I’d dreamt of that night since I was sixteen. It was everything I thought it would be and more. The only regret I have is not telling him sooner, not begging him to stay sooner.