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  HEALED

  Copyright © 2014 by Delisa Lynn

  All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior written permission of the author.

  Healed is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Cover Designer - Robin Harper at Wicked by Design

  Editor - Anna Gorman Coy at AGC Editing Services

  Proof Readers - Jessika Harper and Connie Gorman

  Formatter - Tami Norman at Integrity Formatting

  If you’ve read any of An Embracing Series, then you know who Alyssa is. If you haven’t that’s okay. This is a complete standalone, and it’s in the series because she was associated with it. This book is all about her. You will understand, why she did the things she did in the other books. This is her story, and it was very hard for me to write. I do know that it won’t be for everyone as it has graphic content that is hard for some readers to read. Thank you all for taking the time and reading my books.

  xoxo

  This book is dedicated to anyone, who’s struggled from a loss of a loved one. Some scars won’t heal.

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Epilogue

  Bonus Excerpt: Changed – Blake Black’s Story

  Acknowledgements

  Playlist

  About the Author

  Other works by Delisa Lynn

  Excerpt: The Plea of KT by A. Gorman

  Peeking through my eyelids, I see the sun shining through my window. Quickly, I close them shut. I groan before opening them again. It’s June, the sun is so hot and bright this time of year. Rolling over, I look at the clock and it’s eight in the morning. Placing my feet on the floor, I stretch my body and smile to myself knowing what today will be. In the fall I‘m starting my senior year and it’s kind of bitter sweet. My boyfriend Seth, is going off to college, I’ll still be in high school for another year.

  Walking into my bathroom, I flip the light on and do my morning routine. Turning the shower on, I pull my pajamas off and step in. Making sure my legs are smooth and hair free before inspecting my underarms. I can’t stop smiling. Today is the day, the day I become a woman.

  Stepping out of the shower, I wrap my long auburn hair in a towel, and then wrap another one around my body. I hear someone knocking on my door and pulling it open, my mother is standing there with a glass of apple juice.

  “Hey, sweetheart, I wanted to talk to you before your father and I take off. I know you’re responsible, and I know, how crazy Seth is over you. With that being said…be an adult about this weekend. Got it?” She smiles as she kisses my cheek.

  “Um, Mom…are you giving me permission to...you know?” I ask meekly.

  “Don’t play silly with me, Alyssa Danielle. You can’t fool me. I know good and well that you are going to become intimate with Seth this weekend,” she states.

  I feel my pulse beating fast and I swallow the huge lump that’s stuck in my throat. “Mom, how do you know? Please don’t tell Daddy,” I say.

  “Child, I know everything. Your father would kill us both if he knew you were even on birth control. So please, please be careful. Your sister and her friends will be here also, if you do anything, do it in the guesthouse.”

  “This is creepy…” I roll my eyes. “Okay, I love you, go on. I’ll get dressed and be down for breakfast. Dad said he wanted to talk to me. Omigod, you sure he doesn’t know?”

  “No, he wants to talk about college. You know he wants you to go to med school,” she says, hugging me.

  “Oh, well that’s not happening,” I say as I push the door closed. I’m going to law school, not med school. He’ll have to deal with that and talk Abby into following in his footsteps.

  My parents have been gone a few hours, and I’m sure Seth is on his way. I hear his motorcycle roaring into the driveway, jumping up, I run out to greet him. He is so hot and is one of the most popular guys around. He and his mother moved here about eight years ago, but I didn’t meet him until my freshman year. We have some mutual friends, and it took him forever to ask me out. Now that I think about, it he didn’t even ask me out, he basically told me I was going to the movies with him. We’ve been together ever since and that was two years ago.

  “You made it,” I say, smiling. “Let’s go to the guest house. My sister and her friends are in the main house.”

  “You look beautiful. What are you up too?” he asks, grinning.

  “Thanks. Ahh…nothing really.” I’d came out here earlier and made sure that everything was all set up.

  “Yeah, I know that smile. That’s the smile I fell in love with.” Stopping me before we walk through the door, he kisses me. I could feel my pulse racing.

  “Come on, I got a movie for us to watch.”

  “Oh, what is it? Please tell me it isn’t a John Tucker Must Die?”

  I laugh, because he knows how much I love that movie. Jessie Metcalf is so damn hot. “No, it’s not that.”

  “Good, I get a little jealous watching you drool all over that guy.” He says as he sits on the bed.

  “Here, you can put it in,” I say, handing him the DVD. He looks at me then at the said DVD in his hand.

  “Porn? Really?” He laughs.

  “What, don’t all guys like that?” I immediately feel my cheeks turn red, not just any red…fire engine red.

  “Angel, come here. We all don’t like this. I mean I do, but tonight…it’s you and me. I don’t want your first time to be with this.” I could tell he was holding in his laughter.

  “I’m such a dork… I have no clue why I got that. Mal…never mind.” I smile.

  “I don’t want you to do something you aren’t ready for,” Seth says as he kisses my cheek. “I’ll wait an eternity for you, there’s no rush.”

  “I’m ready…I promise. I know we’re going to be together forever,” I say as I slide onto his lap. I could feel how aroused he was. This is going to be the night I finally give up my ‘V’ card. Giving myself to him is something I’ve been dreaming about for months.

  “Promise me if it hurts, you’ll tell me so I can stop. The last thing I want to do is hurt you angel,” he says as he lays me back on the bed. I’m so damn nervous, I can feel my pulse beating out of my chest.

  “Okay, I promise,” I say as I pull his shirt over his head. We’ve had some intense make-out sessions, but we’ve never been past second base. Looking into his gray eyes, I say, “Make me yours tonight, please.” I feel my body trembling under him.

  “Angel, you’ll always be mine. Leaving in the fall is going to be so hard, I never imagined that it was going to bother me this much. But knowing that you are here and I’m there is going to drive me crazy. Once you graduate next year, we will be together. We can get an apartment close to campus.”

  “I know, I miss you already. Please, show me how much you love me Seth.” Placing my hands between us, I unbutton his pants then my nervous fingers get his zipper down. He lets out a groan as I push his boxers down.

  “I
’m going to taste you first.” As he pulls my pants down, I let out a giggle as I feel his breath on my thighs. I realize I still have my shirt on, so I place my hands at the hem and pull it over my head. I could see my nipples through the lace on my bra. In one swift move, my panties are off and Seth’s face is taking care of the ache I’d been feeling.

  “Oh God, Seth. Feels so good,” I moan as I place my hands in his light brown curls.

  “Angel, you taste so good,” he says as he licks my clit. Then I feel his finger dip inside of me, and that ache I’ve had for months is now gone. I’ve officially had my first orgasm. I feel him push his finger deeper as his tongue circles my clit. I arch my back as I chant his name over and over. Once he stops, he looks up at me and smiles. “Now, I’m going to make love to you,” he says as he rolls a condom on.

  I gulp as I see how large he is. I know it will be a stupid question, but I am going to ask anyways, “Will it… Um, will it, you know, fit inside of me?” I ask as I feel the blush spread across my cheeks.

  He chuckles. “Angel, it will. If it hurts, promise me you’ll tell me.”

  “Promise,” is all I say as I smile at the love of my life. I know he is it for me. I feel him place himself at my opening and he gently pushes inside of me. Then he freezes. “Seth, is everything okay?” I question.

  “Yes, it feels so good. But I’m afraid of hurting you,” he sighs.

  “Please, don’t stop. I’m fine,” I say as I feel a tear slip down my cheek. It did sting a little, but the pleasure took the pain away. As he moves in and out of me, the sting disappears and I open my legs wider, hoping he will go deeper. “Oh…God…Seth, it feels so good. Please do it harder,” I beg.

  “Alyssa, you’re so tight. I knew once that we made love that I would be addicted to you. Look at me,” he orders as I open my eyes. “I’m going to come, baby, and I want to see those beautiful angel eyes as I do.” Pushes in deeper he lets out a groan. At the same time, I feel my pussy clench, then my own orgasm flow out.

  “Holy hell… That was the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” I laugh as he pulls out and lies next to me. Once he pulled out, I immediately wish he were still in me.

  “Are you okay? Shit… Don’t panic, but you’re bleeding. I saw it on the blanket. Let’s go clean up and grab some water.”

  “Yep… I’m fabulous.” I giggle. “I figured I would. It’s normal, right?” I ask. I knew he’s been with other girls, so he has much more experience than I do.

  “It’s normal. You may bleed the rest of the day.”

  “Oh,” I say. I raise up and head to the bathroom to clean myself up. I turn on the shower and grab a few towels. Seth walks in and wraps his arms around my waist.

  “You’re so beautiful. I love you so much.”

  “You’re pretty handsome, yourself.” I giggle as he walks us both into the shower.

  “God, you’re going to drive me crazy now,” he groans. I look down and see that he is fully erect.

  “I think we can take care of that,” I say as I wrap my legs around his waist.”

  “God, you’re amazing,” he groans as he enters me. “Condom, I forgot it,” he breathes into my mouth.

  “Feels so amazing… I’m on the pill. We’re good.”

  “Thank God, because I don’t think I could do it again with anything between us,” he says, pushing me up against the wall. This time he isn’t gentle, it’s so erotic. It’s like something you see in a porno. He holds my arms against the wall as he pushes in and out of me.

  “Harder…Seth, oh God…I’m coming, Seth,” I moan as I feel his warmth flowing through me.

  “Damn…I love you so goddamn much, girl.”

  “Always, Seth, I’ll always love you,” I say as I kiss him.

  Today is going to be so hard. I’ve cried for hours. Seth is leaving for Georgia, and I keep telling myself I’ll be there soon, just another year. Damn that sounds so good in my head. This is going to be the longest year of my life. I walk into the kitchen, and I can smell the bacon and French toast my mom is cooking. She’s an amazing cook, for the most part. I slide onto one of the barstools at the counter.

  “You going to be okay?” she asks as she sits a plate in front of me. “He’ll be back on weekends and holidays.” That’s just it. I won’t see him every day.

  “Mom, this is killing me inside. I love him so much, and I know he is the one. How did you know Daddy was the one for you?” I ask as I pour syrup on my French toast.

  “Baby, your father stole my heart when I was in nursing school. He was doing his residency, and one look into those blue eyes, I was hooked,” she laughs. “Of course, I played hard to get for years. Well, maybe just one. Then after one kiss, I knew he would always be mine.”

  “That’s true love. I want that for Seth and me.” I smile, thinking about last night. Seth made love to me under the stars. It was the most romantic thing he’s ever done.

  “You’ll have it, that boy loves you. Once you start college and the two of you are together daily, you’ll be happier.”

  “Thanks, Mom, you’re the best.” I hug her then place my plate in the sink. I need to see my man, I think to myself.

  Seth has been away at college for exactly a month. We talk daily, but I miss him so much. I’m going to a party tonight with some friends. I’ve been trying to call him, but he isn’t answering his phone. I hate that he’s so far away. I call my friend Mal and let her know that I’m ready, because she’s picking me up. As I sit on the front porch and wait for her, I get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I instantly feel ill. Seeing her pull into the driveway, she gets out and walks toward me. I can see she’s been crying.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask as she hugs me. Just then, my mom opens the front door.

  “Come back inside. We need to talk,” my mom says as she grabs my hand.

  Mal places her hands over her mouth and I can see the tears spilling. “I’m so sorry,” she cries.

  “What’s wrong? Why are you all crying?” I ask as I feel my legs ready to give out.

  “Baby, there has been an accident. Please sit, so I can tell you what’s happened.”

  “I don’t want to sit,” I say, pancaking. “Is it Daddy, or Abby? Are they okay? You’re scaring me, Mom,” I say as she wipes her face. “Mal, what it is it just fucking tell me already,” I yell. She starts talking and all I hear is motorcycle accident and life support, I couldn’t hear anything else.

  I hate hospitals, because they smell weird. Beeping noises are all I hear. Everyone looks so sad, and half are dying or already dead. Hospitals will forever be the one place I dread going to. As I sit here and hold Seth’s hand, I know he isn’t going to wake up. Laying my head on the side of his bed, I cry silently, praying that with some miracle he will come back.

  My dad flew out to Georgia with me yesterday. He’s a Neurologist and he wanted to talk to some of the doctors to see how bad the swelling was on Seth’s brain. My mom has called every ten minutes, because she couldn’t leave my little sister alone and didn’t want her to see all of this. Seth’s parents are divorced and they are fighting over whether he should be taken off of life support or not.

  His mom is being a major bitch, my dad and Seth’s brother had to hold me back from knocking her on her selfish ass. She says that we should just let him go, because he’s already gone. I get that, I really do. But if by some miracle the reports come back and it isn’t as bad as they say it is, then they would have to let him go.

  As I sit next to him, I try to stay strong. Being close to him, knowing this may be the last time I can hold his hand or touch his smooth curls, is hurting so bad. I decided to just talk, I know he can’t talk back, but I know he will hear me. Placing my hand over his, I bring it up to my lips kissing his knuckle.

  “Seth, I know you can hear me. I miss you so much, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this,” I say, kissing his hand. “Do you remember last year when you cut your finger open carving pumpkins? Yeah, I know
I freaked out when I saw all the blood. Then sitting in the hospital waiting for you to get stitched up was the grossest thing ever.” I smile, remembering his laugh. It was contagious, his smile was so bright. His teeth were perfect and by far the whitest teeth I’ve ever seen.

  The door opens and I turn around and see my dad. He runs his hand down his face. I remember seeing that look before—it was when he told me and my little sister that our grams passed away. As he steps closer, I shake my head no. He places he hand on my shoulder. I knew exactly what he was going to say. I tried my pleas first, “No daddy, please don’t let them.”

  “Alyssa, I’m sorry. But things don’t look good. The family has agreed that turning the breathing machine off will be the best thing to do. Seth has been diagnosed with brain edema. It is a name for swelling of the brain, and the swelling on his brain is too much. His tests are coming back as him being completely brain dead. If he were to wake up, he would be in a complete vegetated state. He wouldn’t be the same person he used to be. I hate to tell you all of this, but it’s a good time to go ahead and say your goodbyes, sweetheart. I’ll wait out here okay?” he says, kissing my forehead.

  “Daddy, why are they doing this? He’ll wake up,” I cry. “Can’t you help? You’re a doctor.” I whisper.

  “You know, I’ve tried. It’s just too late.” Wrapping his arms around me. “Don’t do this, Alyssa, please don’t make it any harder than it already is. I’ll stay in here if you want.”

  Pushing him away from me, I turn my back to him, “Just go, and let me have some time.” He walks out and I climb in the bed next to Seth.

  The machine keeps beeping; he has tubes in his nose and his mouth. The one in his mouth is the one that hides his beautiful smile. I see the corners of his lips are so dry. He would hate that. Pulling my lip-gloss out of my pocket, I put some on my finger, and rub it on the parts of his lips that are visible.

  Laying my head next to his, I squeeze his hand tighter. I lie there looking at the ceiling, wondering what is going through his mind. “I will always love you. I wish things were different. Living life without you is going to suck.” Wiping my tears, I sit up and face him. Taking my hand, I run my fingers over his eyebrow. Then place a kiss on his forehead, “This isn’t good-bye, I’m your angel and now you’ll be mine. Please watch over me,” I say as I stand up. Walking toward the door, I feel sick. I run to the bathroom, I think I throw up everything I have ate last week, because I haven’t eaten for two days.