Embracing Series Box Set #1-6 Page 9

  “Be completely honest with me,” Nikki says. “Do you like Evan?”

  “Of course, he’s my friend.”

  “No, you know what I mean. You looked at Alyssa like you wanted to strangle her every time she touched Evan. And then what you said as you were leaving…”

  “I just thought it was very rude and disrespectful of her, and I was tired of seeing it. I just figured I was saying what she was thinking.”

  “Okay, if that’s all it is, I apologize for thinking differently. But we've been best friends since kindergarten, and I can tell when you're upset.”

  “Thanks, Nik, I’m fine. I just want to go to sleep.”

  ***

  I try to avoid Evan in class, but it doesn’t work. He can tell something is bothering me.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine, just tired.” I lie. I have so many mixed feelings about him and Liam.

  “Want to grab lunch after class?” he asks.

  Hesitantly, I reply, “Sure that sounds great.”

  “Just so you know, Alyssa and I aren’t involved. I want to apologize for her behavior. She wants to get back together, but I keep turning her down.”

  “No, I should apologize. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.” I really hope he isn’t bringing her to lunch.

  I haven’t heard from Liam since I've been back to the dorms. I’m not sure if I want to go back home for Christmas or not. I figure I’ll wait and go after the New Year. I know Addie and Eric are spending Christmas in Boston. Nikki’s going back to Ohio. I could just stay in the dorm, catch up on some reading, and watch all my favorite Christmas movies. This is my favorite time of the year.

  Chapter Twelve

  Evan is staying on campus and going home after the New Year. Nikki has taken the month off and is already in Ohio. I decide to stay at the dorms so I can go back when Liam does. I receive a letter from Liam on my birthday, December 22.

  Hey Beautiful,

  I miss you more than I can express. I can’t wait till next month to see that sexy smile of yours. I hope you are ready to spend every minute with me. I can’t stop thinking about our last time together. Lila, you truly are the woman of my dreams. I hope you get this before your birthday. I’ll try to call you, but if I can’t, I hope you have a great birthday and we will celebrate next month. I love you!

  Always, Liam

  Evan doesn’t want to leave me alone on Christmas, so he stays with me and we celebrate Christmas together. Even though we've become really close, he seems a little off. Maybe he doesn't like that I keep jumping around with my jealousy when I see him with other girls.

  “I love spending time with you. I hope you understand how much your friendship means to me,” Evan says.

  “I do. I enjoy your company as well, as long as you understand I’m still with Liam. Aren’t you going to spend any time with Alyssa?”

  “No, she went home for the holidays. Come on, let’s open our gifts!”

  “You didn’t have to buy me a gift!”

  “I wanted to.”

  “Okay, if you insist. I got you one also.”

  We exchange gifts. He bought me a pair of Ugg boots and a beautiful Coach scarf. He knows my obsession with Coach and how much I love Ugg boots. I don’t get to wear them much when I’m home. I love the fact that it’s cold in New York and I can actually wear winter clothing. I bought him a recorder for his notes. He always seems to lose his.

  After gifts, we have a cozy dinner at a little café in town. We talk and share stories from our childhood. He tells me about his first love and how she broke his heart.

  “Alyssa isn’t your first love?”

  “No. We started seeing each when I came to NYU. It just really didn’t seem like it was going anywhere. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a nice girl, but we are two different souls.”

  “So who was your first love?” I ask.

  “Her name was Brynlea. We met when I moved from Alabama. We started dating in middle school. We never really thought it was serious at first. She was a cheerleader and I was a football player. Things were always good. We shared the same friends and enjoyed all the same things. We had plans to eventually go to the same college and maybe someday get married. We’d fallen madly in love with each other and we were pretty inseparable.”

  “Where is she now?”

  Evan sighs. “I don’t know.”

  “I’m sorry. We don’t have to talk about this anymore.”

  I can see he’s getting upset over this conversation. I wonder what happened to her.

  “The reason I don’t know where Brynlea is…is because her parents sent her away.”

  “What do you mean sent her away?”

  “We were young and she got pregnant. I wanted to take care of her and the baby. Her parents had other plans once they found out about the baby and us.

  “They made her have an abortion, although she told me she lost the baby. Then they sent her to live with her grandparents. I haven’t heard from her since and that was almost four years ago.”

  “I’m so sorry. I know you would have been a good father. Did your parents know?”

  “Yes, they were on my side. They said they would help us with the baby and we could live with them. Her parents even moved after that. I finally gave up on looking for her.”

  ***

  I can't stop thinking about Evan and his story. I feel so bad that he had to go through that. I decide to make him dinner and dessert at his place the next day. Evan and Brody live in a loft close to campus.

  “I normally don’t cook, so this is your lucky day, my friend.”

  “You aren’t going to poison me, are you?”

  “Ha, ha, you're a funny man, Mr. Martin,” I say as I pat his back.

  Evan plays video games while I cook. Once dinner is done and we finish eating, we watch a movie and talk some more.

  “So what’s your story, Miss Carls?”

  “Well, what would you like to know?”

  “Everything and anything you are willing to share. When did you and Liam start dating?”

  “Funny story. Liam and I had been friends for a few years. His cousin Addie is my best friend. I’ve told you about her. Well, I was dating her brother Ashton and I caught him cheating on me. Liam had been telling me for months that I deserved better. I didn’t listen and well…I found out the hard way. I wanted to knock the shit out of that skank and Ashton when I saw them.”

  “So you started dating his cousin for payback? Nice!”

  “No, Liam and I fell in love. He's a great guy. I can’t wait for you to meet him.”

  “What does he think about you and me hanging out all the time?”

  “He knows we're just friends and he trusts me. It’s getting late; I better get back and finish packing. I’m going home in a couple days.”

  “Why don’t you stay here? You can sleep in my room and I’ll stay in Brody’s.”

  “I don’t think that would be a good idea. I should go to my dorm.”

  “Come on, just tonight. We've both had a few glasses of wine; we shouldn’t be out.”

  Damn, he does have a point; maybe I should just stay. I trust him and I know I would never cheat on my Liam.

  “Okay, I’ll stay.”

  Evan fixes his bed for me, then he goes off to Brody’s room. As I lie in bed, looking at the ceiling, I think of Liam and how he would freak if he knew I was here. I hear the door open.

  “Evan, is that you?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry, I just wanted to check on you.”

  “I’m fine. Are you okay?” I ask.

  “Yes, I am. Can I stay in here with you? I just want to talk some more. I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself and stay on my side of the bed.”

  “You want to sleep in the same bed as me?” Crap, what the hell did I get myself into? I hope he doesn’t try anything. “Come on Evan, lie down. What do you want to talk about?”

  “I just wanted to be close to you. I know you're with
Liam and I would never try to ruin that. I really like being with you and talking to you.”

  We talk for what seems like hours.

  I awake with Evan snuggled up to me, his arms wrapped around my body. He’s still asleep. Even in the morning, he smells good.

  Fuck! Liam, Liam, Liam. “Evan, wake up!”

  “Well, good morning to you to, pretty lady.”

  “I’ve got to get going,”

  “Okay, I’ll take you to the dorms. What about breakfast?” Evan asks.

  “Breakfast, then to the dorms.”

  “Sounds good. Let me shower really quickly.”

  While Evan’s showering, I wash dishes from the night before and clean up the dining room. I walk back into the bedroom, thinking he's dressed, but it turns out he isn't. Good God! His body looks like heaven.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  He laughs and says, “Well, do you like what you see?”

  Hell yeah, I do; he has a beautiful body. I’m practically drooling. Damn, I didn’t think a man's body could get any better than Liam’s, but Evan proved me wrong.

  I stare at his crotch, so amazed by what I see that I drop my purse. His package is um…oh my God…I don’t realize I’m staring so much until he asks if I’m okay.

  Damn, that thing is huge! Close your mouth, Lila! Thinking about him gets me so moist, I feel like I’ve wet my panties.

  The drive to the dorm is kind of awkward. Evan laughs nearly the whole way back.

  “Dinner when you get back, darlin’?”

  “Sure, Evan, that sounds great!”

  He walks me to the door and kisses my cheek. I smile and go in to pack. Why is Evan so charming? I really enjoy hanging out with him, but I feel like he wants more.

  When I get back, I think I’ll reiterate that friends are all we will ever be.

  ***

  Eric and Addie are already back in Boston. I really wish we could have spent Christmas together, but I wanted to be here with Liam. He should arrive anytime now.

  I get a text from Nikki saying she and Brody are having issues. Brody is a great guy; I just don’t think my friend is ready to settle down the way he is.

  My phone chirps with a text. It’s Liam, I think.

  Evan: Hello pretty lady, hope you had a safe flight and are enjoying your time. Text me when you are back in NY. I miss you already!

  I don’t reply. I call Addie to see how she and Eric are doing. They sound so happy and so much in love. Liam still hasn’t arrived.

  I hear my dad walking through my bedroom door. I smile at him.

  “Hey Lila, how are you doing?” he asks, hugging me.

  “Hey Dad, I’m good. School is going great and I love New York so far,” I say, loosening our embrace.

  “That’s great, pumpkin. I hope you are staying away from those guys out there.”

  “You know me, it’s all about studying. You also know my heart is with Liam.”

  “Speaking of Liam, where is that fellow of yours anyway?”

  “He should be here soon.”

  I decide to go to The Ellis’s to see if they've heard from Liam.

  “Hello, Ashton!”

  “Hey, Lila, what brings you here?”

  “I’m looking for Liam. Have you heard from him?”

  “No, I haven’t. Did you check with Ads?”

  “She hasn’t either. I’ll just go to the beach house to wait for him, so if you hear anything please let him know I’m there.”

  Sometimes it's still odd talking to Ashton after everything that happened.

  ***

  The beach house looks dark and empty. My parents don’t come here a lot. I decided to pick up some groceries on my way there. As I try to unlock the door, it opens. I jump back and a familiar face steps out.

  “Liam! You scared the shit out of me!”

  “I’m sorry, beautiful. I went home and Ash said you were here. Lila, I've missed you so much.”

  “I've missed you more,” I say. “I’m going to make steak and baked potatoes for dinner, okay?”

  “I’m sure whatever you make will be fine.”

  “Okay, I’ll get the grill ready.”

  “Umm, let’s not worry about that right now.”

  “Liam, what are you up to?”

  He leads me to the bedroom and kisses me.

  “I've missed your touch so much,” he says.

  “I missed yours more,” I say.

  He takes my clothes off, then lays me on the bed and explores my body.

  He kisses and licks every inch of me. I undress him and run my hands up and down his body. I love touching him. I want to feel him in my mouth again.

  “Baby, please, I want to be inside of you. Please let me love you.”

  He enters me as soon as I roll over.

  “I've missed feeling you inside of me,” I say.

  Good God, I love making love to this man.

  “Faster, Liam, faster.” I want to come all over him.

  “I can’t hold it any longer, I’m going to come baby.”

  “Wait one more second. I-I-I…Now, now!” We come together. Holy shit! That was fucking amazing. He kisses me with more passion than he ever has.

  “I love you, Lila.”

  “I love you more, Liam.” I say.

  We make love again, then shower. Finally, I make dinner.

  “When did you start drinking wine?” he asks.

  “I just bought it in case you wanted some.”

  I've been drinking that shit every night since being in New York City. It makes my thoughts clear. I didn’t want to tell Liam that, though. How do you tell your future husband you are having wet dreams about another man? Wine will work just fine to keep my mind clear.

  “So, how is school going?”

  “Good. I just wish you and Addie were there with me.”

  “I’ll be with you soon, my love. I only have eight months of basic training left.”

  “After that, are you going to relocate to New York with me?”

  “Are you asking me to?”

  “Hell yes! I’m not asking you, I’m telling you.” I laugh.

  “Yes, ma’am. I love you more than I ever imagined I would.”

  I kiss his neck. “I love you more than life itself!”

  “You make me one happy man, Miss Carls. Well, someday that will be Mrs. Ellis.”

  “Is that a promise?”

  “Of course it is. When you're finished with school and I can relocate back here, we can plan the marriage. I'm still unsure if I want to move into my house.”

  “I’m one lucky lady. Sometimes, when I’m with you, I feel like it’s all a dream.”

  “No dream, beautiful. I’m all yours.”

  Liam and I have so much fun playing house again. He decided he wants to look for his birth mother. He knows her name and that she was eighteen when she had him. I’m worried that maybe he'll be disappointed when he does find her.

  “Liam, are you sure you want to do this?” I ask as we pull in the parking lot of the adoption agency.

  “I’m positive I want to do this. I need to know.”

  A little, old lady helps us. She informs us that the records are sealed and she has no information on Liam’s birth mother. She suggests, since it was so long ago, that maybe we should contact the hospital or any family that would know.

  Liam is determined to find her. “What if I have brothers, sisters and a father? Lila, I want to find them. My blood family will never replace the family I grew up with; it’s just something I want to do.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  We only have one day left before I fly back to New York and Liam goes back to the base. He was originally supposed to be finished and back at a location by September, but they informed him that it would be November. He still has eleven months to go.

  God, how am I going to survive not knowing when I will see his handsome smile again? He has the brightest smile and perfect teeth. You would think he wore braces for years, bu
t he’s never needed them.

  “Lila, please know that I think of you every minute of the day. I’m going to do everything I can to make these eleven months go by fast.”

  “I can’t see you the entire time?”

  “I’m not sure. There are guys there that say I’m really lucky that I've gotten two leaves already.”

  I break down right there. “Liam, I can’t keep doing this. It breaks my heart knowing you are out God only knows where. What if you get hurt? I would never be able to go on without you! I need you.”

  “I know! Please don’t do this. Look at me, I promise you I’ll be back! Don’t you ever think that I won’t! I wanted you for so damn long and now that you're mine, I’m not fucking this up. You hear me, Lila Rae? I’ll be back and we'll be together.”

  “Liam, I-I…just love you so much. You're the first guy I've ever loved and it scares the hell out of me to think something might happen to you.”

  “I’ll be fine and so will you! Knowing how much you love and want me keeps me safe. Thinking about you, looking at your pictures, your letters…Lila, you make me strong! I live every minute because I know you're here waiting for me. Now you need to be strong for me. I need you to stay focused and help us get through these months.”

  I walk in the airport and want to run the other way. I can hear the overhead music. It’s “Far Away” by Nickelback. Every lyric runs through my mind. I just want to throw Liam in a car and drive as far away as we can.

  I manage to pull myself together and pray for his safe return. Liam holds me in his arms as I sob like a two year old.

  “L, you have to focus on school and helping me find my birth mother.”

  “I can do that. I’ll find her for you.”

  He kisses my forehead and walks away. I can see he’s crying when he turns to look back at me and waves. Will this be the last time I see the love of my life, my heart and soul?

  ***

  I text Nikki to come pick me up from the airport. Evan has texted and called several times already, but I haven't responded.